Just Say No - Set Those Boundaries

Let's talk about something real: feeling like a superhero mom is awesome, but running on fumes isn't. I know your pile of laundry is adding up, you're trying to meal prep for everyone, shuttling between daycare, errands, work, and maybe getting in some YOU time, saying yes to everything seems like it's the only option sometimes.

But as I'm sure you've discovered since having kids, you are not a bottomless well of energy and time. Saying "no" isn't selfish, it's essential to avoid burnout and become the best version of yourself for your family (and sanity!).

Why do we feel uncomfortable saying no? There is a unique pressure on girls to be agreeable, and helpful and put other's needs above their own. This leads to girls who grow up to be afraid of being 'selfish' or 'difficult' when they say no. Add to this that society portrays motherhood as this constant selfless act of giving, making every meal from scratch, coming up with sensory and educational activities, keeping their home looking like it's 'Pinterest' ready all the time.

It's just a bit much no?

Why Saying "No" is Your Superpower:

• Reduces Stress:  Feeling overwhelmed by a packed schedule? A well-placed "no" can create space for what truly matters.

• Boosts Energy:  Constant "yeses" drain your energy reserves. Saying no allows you to recharge and be more present in the moments that count.

• Sets Boundaries:  It teaches your kids, family, and friends that your time is valuable and how to set their own healthy boundaries.

• Prioritizes Self-Care:  Saying no to extra commitments lets you focus on your well-being, whether it's a long bath, a workout, or simply some quiet time with a good book.

How to Say "No" Like a Boss (Without Feeling Guilty):

• Be Clear and Direct:  A simple "no, thank you" is perfectly acceptable. No need for elaborate explanations.

• Offer Alternatives:  Can't commit to a whole playdate? Suggest a shorter coffee date.

• Practice Saying No:  Start small and practice saying no in low-pressure situations.

• Prioritize Your Needs:  If you're exhausted, say no to that extra social event. Your well-being matters most.

• Set Boundaries with Grace:  "I'd love to help, but I'm already committed to..." is a kind way to decline.

• Recognize Your Value:  Recognize that your time and energy are valuable and deserve respect.
  

• Challenge the "Mommy Myth":   Recognize that motherhood is not about constant sacrifice. Prioritizing your well-being benefits everyone.

Remember:

• No is a complete sentence.

• You don't owe anyone an explanation.

• It's okay to disappoint people sometimes.

• Saying no allows you to say yes to the things that truly matter.

Bonus Tip: Empower your kids to say "no" too! Teach them the importance of setting boundaries and respecting their own needs.

Should You Try Intermittent Fasting?

One of the things I get asked about the most is intermittent fasting. It's become a pretty popular approach for people who want to lose weight or improve their health. A lot of my clients have tried this before working with me, and none of them have seen significant success or stuck with it. Why is that?

Here is why I don't recommend IF for my clients, and what I recommend instead.

First things first, intermittent fasting (IF) typically involves restricting your eating window to a certain number of hours each day. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. Here's the science, mama: our bodies crave energy. We're constantly on the go, fueling little monsters, wrestling toddlers, and keeping the house from becoming a disaster zone. Skipping meals can leave you feeling hangry, struggling with brain-fog, and running on fumes, and that's exactly what I hear from moms who have tried it. Not exactly how we want to conquer motherhood, right?

But it goes deeper than just feeling grumpy.

1. Hormonal Imbalance: Women are more sensitive to changes in calorie intake and fasting, which can disrupt hormonal balance. Research indicates that intermittent fasting may lead to irregular menstrual cycles. No thanks, if you're navigating postpartum hormone fluctuations, don't add this to the mix.

2. Increased Stress: Navigating motherhood is already stressful, and intermittent fasting can add stress responses in the body for women, including increased cortisol levels. When the body is in 'fight or flight' mode non-stop and then we add something like IF, it just exacerbates things, hindering our ability to feel more energized and our best self.

3. Energy Levels and Cognitive Function: Studies suggest that intermittent fasting might impair cognitive function and reduce energy levels in women more than in men. This could affect productivity, concentration, and overall well-being - does that sound like something you want on top of trying to think of what to make for dinner and remember where your kid left their ballet shoes?

4. Metabolic Adaptation: Women's bodies may adapt differently to intermittent fasting compared to men, potentially leading to metabolic slowdown or other metabolic disturbances. This could hinder weight loss efforts or even lead to weight gain in some cases.
   

It's not really sustainable long-term from what I've seen in practice. Another problem?, if your goals are to increase muscle (they should be!) and to stabilize your metabolism, skipping breakfast or delaying it, which most people who do IF typically do, works against you. During the night we go into a fasted state, and our first meal of the day breaks that fast and stimulates our metabolism again. Starting your day first thing with protein supports muscle recovery and growth and weight management.

Here's what I recommend instead: focusing on nourishing your body, not depriving it. Think regular meals and snacks packed with protein (keeps you feeling fuller longer!), healthy fats (hello, sustained energy!), and whole grains (fiber for the win!). All of my clients who have started prioritizing this instead have seen more energy throughout the day, less hunger and less brain fog.

The bottom line? Trendy diets can be a recipe for stress and yo-yo dieting down the line. Instead, let's focus on making small, sustainable changes for long-term health. Maybe it's swapping that third cup of coffee for water or fitting in a quick 10-minute walk during nap time. These tiny wins add up, mama, and before you know it, you'll be feeling like your most radiant, energized self again.

So ditch the intermittent fasting for now, mamas. You've got enough challenges to tackle. Let's focus on fueling our bodies for the amazing things we do every single day.

If you want even more guidance, check out my group & one-on-one coaching options, let's navigate this journey together!

Do You Need Supplements?

As a nutritionist, I was naive enough to think that if you were diligent and had a well-balanced diet, you could get all of your essential nutrients. A few things in my coaching and personal experience have changed my mind.

In the 'before days' (pre-kids) I had a lot of luxury around what I ate and when I ate it. Want to try a new recipe that takes an hour- great! Need to prep something that takes a lot of chopping - sure! Now I realize, that as a parent, you have so many roles to fill, even when you have time to cook for yourself and your family, that doesn't mean you're always hitting your fruit/veggie goals, or getting enough whole goods in general.

The Evolution of My Perspective:

When I started coaching, I emphasized the importance of obtaining nutrients from whole foods, advocating for a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. I still stand by this, and the basis of my coaching still focuses on this, but I now know this just isn't always realistic for moms.

Understanding Dietary Gaps:

Moms, especially those of small children are working in a deficit. I read somewhere that it takes about 2 years to fully recover from pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding etc. These things take an enormous toll on your body and it's hard to catch up, and then layer in the fact that you're not sleeping and surviving on goldfish? OF COURSE you feel depleted.

The Value of Supplements:

This is where supplements can have added value and help address gaps in the short or long term. They are also really beneficial to help support the other efforts you're making in the weight room, the kitchen, or just generally towards your overall health.

Here's a closer look at some key supplements that I now recommend to my clients:

• Protein: Adequate protein intake is essential for muscle repair, immune function, satiety, and metabolic regulation. I would LOVE it if you got all your protein from whole food sources, but you're busy and sometimes a protein powder or bar is really clutch to help you hit your goals.

• Prebiotics and Probiotics: Gut health is linked to everything in the body and directly contributes to your overall well-being, digestion, immune function, and even mood. Prebiotics are non-digestible fibers that nourish beneficial gut bacteria - so this one you really should be getting from your food. Probiotics are also super beneficial and you can get them from fermented food which I recommend all of my clients eat on the regular. If you want an extra boost, incorporating a probiotic supplement can also help foster a healthy gut microbiome and support digestive health.

• Iron: Are you tired? But like REALLY tired? Get your iron levels checked. Iron is crucial, a recent study showed that almost 50% of women become aenemic postpartum due to increased blood volume and iron loss during childbirth. I don't recommend clients start supplementation until confirming they are deficient, but if they are, this is a game-changer.

• Vitamin D: Many people, including moms and their children, have inadequate vitamin D levels, which can affect bone health, immune function, and mood. If you live somewhere that it's dark most of the year (ahem - Seattle) - get yourself some vitamin D ASAP. It can also help with energy and brain function.

• Omega-3 Fatty Acids: Omega-3s, particularly DHA, are often recommended during pregnancy for fetal brain development during pregnancy but the benefits for mom go beyond that including reduced inflammation, mood support and improvements in heart health.

How does it come together?

While supplements can play a valuable role in supporting health, they should not replace a nutrient-rich diet based on whole foods. My entire coaching philosophy is founded on prioritizing whole foods, so I encourage my clients to view supplements as complements to their dietary intake, filling in the gaps where needed. I know you're out there, doing your best, and we could all use a little help from time to time.

Disclaimer

I am not a medical doctor, and the information provided in this post is for educational purposes only. While I am a nutritionist with expertise in dietary supplements and nutrition, it's important to note that individual health needs may vary.

Before starting any new supplement regimen, especially if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or have any underlying health conditions, it is crucial to consult with a qualified healthcare professional, such as a physician who can provide personalized advice based on your medical history, current health status, and individual needs.

Please remember that supplements are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, and should not be used as a substitute for medical advice or prescribed medications. Always follow the recommended dosage instructions on supplement labels, and discontinue use if you experience any adverse reactions.